24 / 11 / 15
I have set up blogs before and have written 1 or 2 blog posts. I couldn't get myself to be consistent at it. Although I did know it was the content and actually writing something that is important, I'll admit it, I've gotten sidetracked and spent a lot of useless hours researching about every new blogging platform and static site generators. I've set up and brought down my blog portal multiple times, without actually writing much. But, I promise, I'm going to keep this blog around for as long as Gridea as a service is going to be up.
When I set up this portal, I didn't think a rejection was the first thing I was going to write about. But here we are. I woke up, immediately saw a rejection email on my phone, got kicked back into reality, and some sudden motivation to start writing.
After 4 years at big tech and feeling a little bit lost, there were several thoughts that were going through my mind, and one fine day I got reminded of the Recurse Center . I had heard of them before, but I had never really thought about applying. I think it's mostly because, at least from back when I remember it, it was purely NYC-based with no remote option (which they do now). I used to live in India back then and moving to NYC was never an option for me, let alone taking 12 weeks off of work. But, this time around, I was already based in the US and was already looking to take some time off work. I was also financially in a really comfortable position to be able to afford such a break.
So, I spent days reading through all the information on the Recurse Center portal and skimming through one or two of the "Recurse Center return statements" (return statement is a standard name at RC for an attendee writing about their experience at RC). I was convinced that RC was the best thing for me at this point, and I started dreaming about my days at RC and NYC. The thought of meeting and networking with some driven folks and the imaginary inspiration oozing out really did feel compelling. I had a perfect plan for me ready. I was going to do RC 'Winter 2, 2025' batch between jobs. I was going to move to NYC for 6 weeks (RC now offers a half and a full batch, where 6 weeks is a half batch). Based on the stuff and the consistent good reviews I read about RC, I was convinced that RC was going to be my life changer. So, I opened up their application form on my computer and took a couple of days to complete my application. I wrote everything from my heart, with genuine information. While they suggest you write your own thoughts and not what you think they want to hear, that's exactly what I was doing too. I reviewed my writing a couple of times and submitted my application on Oct 31, 2024. They gave me back a status tracking link and a date by which you will hear back. The date was Nov 21, 2024 for me.
I had bookmarked the status tracking linking and had been visiting it a couple times a day, looking for an update. I just wanted to get everything ready, once I have a green from them. Unfortunately, for me, I hadn't thought through what I'd do if I get rejected. I had no plan B. I woke up today, and checked for the time and notifications like I do everyday. 2nd or 3rd notification in, I see an email from RC and while it had a few paragraphs, my eyes just looked for the keyword. And, there it was - "unfortunately".
Since I had almost attended RC on my mind, and have also not had any application rejections in a while, there was a surge of emotions. I started doubting myself, read through my responses to questions on the RC form. I started wondering if I was a jerk (not being one is an acceptance criteria). Maybe I didn't spend enough time understanding what they look for ? It's been a couple of hours since the email and I feel like I had already gone through the different stages of grief. RC says that many of the attendees get rejected 2 or 3 times before they finally get in. Unluckily for me, I am not really sure that the timing will ever be right for me to pursue RC again. This was the first time it was right for me, and could be the last time as well. But, never say never. While the rejection was a disappointment and I still feel missed out, I'm also surprisingly feeling a little motivated. Whatever's happened has happened. I was laid back the past few weeks and I think I'm now ready to whip up some new plans. I think I'm going to throw away all the reluctance to things I have in mind away and would try to move fast, get my hands-on and evaluate my next best options. I feel stuck, and rusty about a lot of my skills and it's time to change that.